1. |
fuck canon
02:32
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hineni
here i am, your only son, whom you don’t love
do i get to live at the end of this parsha?
i’ve only seen one movie with a boy who looks like me and he died in the end, was murdered as a sacrificial offering to you the god haelohim. passed him round like a loaf of bread for crows and cohanim to feed.
there are no boys that look like me in your torah.
ibrahim passed your test, your pop quiz so they say
so they say “here i am, your only son, whom you don’t love”
do i get to live at the end of this torah?
do i get to live out the rest of my life?
will you throw me down a ten foot cliff?
will you light me on fire at the end of this alter?
here i am, your only son, whom you don’t love
and i am saying no
will that make you love me?
will that make you love me?
I’ve only seen one movie
I’ve only seen one movie
I’ve only seen one movie
I’ve only seen one movie
כל העולם כולו גשר צר מאוד
No
No I am not a sacrifice
No I won’t kill my son for you
No he didn’t pass the test
and no you can’t enter my body
without my permission
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2. |
pinocchio
02:14
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I was led to believe
I was a puppet shaped
from wood held
by strings
I broke my spine kneeling
to the larger idol that destroyed the rest of them
trust me, I’m a real boy
I spoke and there was the world
No men are gods
And all men are gods
And the thing never forgotten
isn’t genocide; but that whoever came up
with the idea that we are not gods but godly
has not fucked themselves enough
reached the climax some call heaven on earth
(except that heaven has always been on earth)
has not smoked pot enough times
has not cried endlessly for weeks
weeping
for nothing
then reached the Avatar State
I was touched by an angel
touched
told that my dick did not belong in his ass
that even though I was a Jew not a number
it was irrational
to say
that I didn’t think Hannah, or Elyse, or
even Sarah
would be fun to fuck
trust me, I’m a real boy
trust me
thrust me
in those long strong arms
that led me out of Egypt
and tell me its ok
tell me its ok
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3. |
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wrestle with god
shema yisrael
wrestle with Adonai
I cut out the parts of my skin that didn’t fit
“you look so jewish”
i wrapped myself in prayer cloth to cover the body you gave me
“you don’t look jewish at all”
i stand in front of the mirror with my chest bared, your arms wrapped around my arms, your love wrapped around my hate
can you see that I wasn’t born a jew?
i can’t go into the temple i grew up in anymore, there’s a tightrope where a bridge used to be and i never learned how to balance so well
i’m building a temple to you in my body
that no rabbi would see fit to enter
can you hear it when i scream your name?
do non-jews go to olam haba?
they told me i was okay i was okay i was okay because you change your mind but i still dont know how to eat pork and wool and cotton go on opposite sides of my bookshelf
they told me i wasnt okay i wasnt okay i wasnt okay
i shaved the sides of my head the corners of my soul just to say up yours
i;m not okay
would you still love me if i killed myself?
would you still love me if i didnt?
can you see that i was born a boy?
can you see that i was meant to be a girl?
i like tea more than black coffee i like tea more than i like black coffee
i still dont know if i believe in you it took you this long already? you haven’t given up your goyish ways?
they told me you made me in your image that must mean you dont have an image i dont know what shape i fit in
did you know that you cant see colors until you have a word so i think that means you cant see me until you have a word
i dont have a word
why didn’t you give me a word? you have ten fingers and two hands and fire and brimstone and a universe and you couldn’t give me a word?
wrestle with god
eloheinu adonai echad
i am already too covered in mud, i think they might have thrown me in the pigsty
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4. |
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You’ll ask me if I can fly
I’ll ask you if we can die
You’ll ask me if we can fly
I’ll ask you what flying means
you’ll tell me its simple see
Apollo 16
Astronauts inside
astrological signs outside
Tell me I’m flying
Tell me I’m flying
like Peter or or Wendy or John or or Michael
like an insane asylum
let’s play “airplane”
you’ll be the pilot
Sex with you was kind of
kind of anticlimactic
kind of took out my bones
and replaced them with ashes
I don’t know
don’t know who I’m asking
but who are you
to tell me tell me I was asking for it
You told me you were so high
I told you I wasn’t drunk on the inside
You told me we were so high
I asked you what that means
You said you said you’re a worrier
Trojan warrior
Horses in hiding
Horses are flying
Tell me I’m dying
Tell me I’m dying
Like Tootles or Twins or or Curly or Slightly
Like Ajax’s armor
Let’s play fighting
You’ll be the sword
and I’ll be the scabbard
Sex with you was kind of
kind of anticlimactic
you’re not a son of god
just a son of a bastard
I don’t know don’t know
if I’m laughing
or crying
but I know for sure
its just me
You’ll answer it’s just this time
I’ll ask you what you said last time
You’ll answer it’s just one time
I’ll ask you what time is
You’ll tell me it’s simple see
The bourgeoisie
Are all wearing glasses
They’re forming the masses
These tears I’m crying
These tears are blinding
Like Skylights or Starkie or Turely or Mason
Like Jolly Roger
Let’s play at pirates
You’ll be the captain
Sex with you was kind of
anticlimactic
kind of took out my breath
and replaced it with ashes
I don’t know don’t know
who I’m asking
but aren’t we all just
pieces of plastic
Sex with you was kind of
kind of anticlimactic
kind of took out my bones
and replaced them with ashes
I don’t know
don’t know who I’m asking
but who are you
to tell me tell me I was asking for it
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can
Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please dont break it
Love was made for me and you
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5. |
telophase
00:45
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6. |
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all i want for christmas is for it to snow so much i wont be able to leave my house (and face those fucking relatives)
all i want for christmas is for it feel so cold that i wont be able to feel my fingers feel my fingers feel my fingers
all i want for christmas is for everyone to shut up about (all i want for) christmas
are your teeth your hair your nails your bones your organs your tissue your skin your intestines
all i want for christmas is for us all to celebrate by throwing away this sparkly crap and being hung up on a crucifix
Jesus wasn’t even born in winter
Jesus wasn’t even born in winter
Jesus wasn’t even born in winter
Jesus wasn’t even born in winter
Jesus wasn’t even born in winter
Jesus was black
Jesus was white
And jesus was a jew
jesus was a jew, wasn’t he?
all i want
all i want
all i want
all i want for christmas this year
all i want for christmas is to light the candles, close my eyes, put my hands over my face and never change positions
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7. |
passing gas
03:03
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8. |
punk wu
00:15
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9. |
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You sit in your chair
I sit in my chair
We do our best not to stare at each other
So instead
we find meaning in the only other thing in the room
soon we will all we will all
be projecting from an empty broken wall
Cut off my tongue
I might drink your blood as wine
taste the divine
bind them as a sign
bind them as a sign
bind them as a sign
This is not this is not
a lust song
this is not this is not
a love song
this is not a
sad pathetic moment
where we are all look at our chests
and pretend that its enough
This is my handle and this is my spout
and here are my candles but where are the shouts
שלא עשיני גוי
and what big hands you have
you’ll do anything for money
and what a big nose you have
praised are you
who clothes the naked
and what is this what is this mask?
This is not this is not
a lust song
this is not this is not
a love song baby
this is not a
sad pathetic moment
where we are all look at our chests
and pretend that they are enough
this is my this is my design
this is my this is my this is my design
my body is my instrument
my body is my instrument
my body is my instrument
my body is my instrument
my body is my body is my body is my body is
a violen
a violent instrument
my body is a corpse
a bible
a horse
a teapot
a chore
a boy
a girl
a baby
my body is a baby
cradle me cradle me cradle cradle my body
אדני ימלך לעולם ועד
אדני ימלך לעולם ועד
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10. |
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a boy fell in love with a girl but a boy
fell in love with a boy but a girl but a boy and a girl fell in love
she tasted so sweet
when we prayed with the floor on our knees
and we stood up to reach to each other
i thought my hands would fall off
my tongue had been cut out
from your body
a girl fell in love with a boy but a girl
fell in love with a girl but a boy but a girl and a boy fell in love
on the floor with their mouths in each other
when police were at the door
you pulled at my hair
the cuts caused pain i couldn’t bear
oh! oh!
i put my hand on your cock
felt your blood rush into my veins
she asked me if she could get me off
he asked me if he could do the same
i told him
my cock wasn’t made
from bones like yours
you had my lip caught in your teeth
and your hair stuck in my jaw
we cried and asked each other
your outsides weren’t made from what i know
my insides made more sense to you than i
could ever know
oh! oh!
a boy fell in love with a girl but a boy
fell in love with a boy but a girl but a boy and a girl fell in love
fell in love
on the cold soft floor
with nothing to heat us but our bodies
and no way to see
but the the police lights shining through
the front door
a girl fell in love with a boy but a girl
fell in love with a girl but a boy but a girl and a boy fell in love
fell in love
fell in love
fell in love
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11. |
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dreidel dreidel dreidel
I made you out of clay
and when you’re dry and ready
your feet will ache the same way
My ancestors did
“take off your shoes” you said
There are piles of shoes at Auschwitz
I took off my ribs instead
hoping we could play together
you’d always pretend we weren’t naked
you’d always try to stuff apples in my teeth
“rip up his technicolor dreamcoat” you said
When we came walking barefoot from Poland
your father will not remember you
your father nor your father’s father nor your father’s father’s father
but we will never forget
not forget you and your small noses
“wands away” you said
but you told us that if only we had guns
if only we could fight back
if only you could give us someone to villainize
there was magic in our ghettos
there is no magic on christmas eve
“truth” you said
truth is what can awaken the dead
and we created a monster to protect us
when the bombs started falling we cried out Adonai
not questioning whether the truth we could see
was the truth that was real
I am starting to forget why I ever believed in flying
here’s the thing about miracles:
they are made out of clay
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