wrestle with god
shema yisrael
wrestle with Adonai
I cut out the parts of my skin that didn’t fit
“you look so jewish”
i wrapped myself in prayer cloth to cover the body you gave me
“you don’t look jewish at all”
i stand in front of the mirror with my chest bared, your arms wrapped around my arms, your love wrapped around my hate
can you see that I wasn’t born a jew?
i can’t go into the temple i grew up in anymore, there’s a tightrope where a bridge used to be and i never learned how to balance so well
i’m building a temple to you in my body
that no rabbi would see fit to enter
can you hear it when i scream your name?
do non-jews go to olam haba?
they told me i was okay i was okay i was okay because you change your mind but i still dont know how to eat pork and wool and cotton go on opposite sides of my bookshelf
they told me i wasnt okay i wasnt okay i wasnt okay
i shaved the sides of my head the corners of my soul just to say up yours
i;m not okay
would you still love me if i killed myself?
would you still love me if i didnt?
can you see that i was born a boy?
can you see that i was meant to be a girl?
i like tea more than black coffee i like tea more than i like black coffee
i still dont know if i believe in you it took you this long already? you haven’t given up your goyish ways?
they told me you made me in your image that must mean you dont have an image i dont know what shape i fit in
did you know that you cant see colors until you have a word so i think that means you cant see me until you have a word
i dont have a word
why didn’t you give me a word? you have ten fingers and two hands and fire and brimstone and a universe and you couldn’t give me a word?
wrestle with god
eloheinu adonai echad
i am already too covered in mud, i think they might have thrown me in the pigsty
The songs on the latest from Worriers hurtle forward breathlessly, with hook after hook topped by scorching vocal melodies. Bandcamp New & Notable Sep 16, 2023
Restless, agitated no wave for modern times built around razor-sharp guitar and roiling percussion from Jane Doe Ensemble. Bandcamp New & Notable Aug 16, 2022